* Note: The word "birthmother"
or "birthparent" is used here for search engine rankings ONLY,
no mother is an incubator or "birth thing" - she is a
mother.
"I'm pregnant!" - If you are planning on bringing a life
into the world then you are a mother already. Your child needs you.
Don't give up hope. Learn how you can keep and
nurture your own child. If you are thinking about adoption, learn
what adult
adoptees say when they feel safe in telling their truths about
adoption. Learn from others experiences how Open
Adoption may affect you and your family. Use the links at the left
to learn more about adoption.
* Note: The term "birthmother",
"birthmom", bmom" is used here for search engine ranking ONLY. A
human being is not an object, meant to be used as the source of a baby for
adoption - - A mother is the mother of her own child.
Many parents have punished their daughters for life by
pressuring them to surrender their own sons and daughters for adoption. Do
you really want your grandchild to feel abandoned by his mother, father
and by you? Do you want your grandchild calling some stranger "mom" while
your daughter is degradingly referred to as a "birthmother" and you are
just a "birth relative"? No matter what letters, pictures or contact they
promise you, there is no guarantee you or your daughter will see your
grandchild again. A very large percentage of so-called "open" adoptions
close in the first year. It's devastating for the natural family. Some
mothers even commit suicide.
Is your girlfriend
pregnant?
You may be a father. A child who feels he has been
abandoned by his father is more likely to abandon his own offspring. Learn
about your rights and protect them for your child's sake. Even if you
cannot marry his mother, your child still needs YOU to love and guide him.
No one else can take your place. Fathers are of interest to adoption
lawyers and agencies - they put special effort into denying fathers'
rights so they can get more babies. Do feel confident in getting a
paternity test after the baby is born, but don't wait for the paternity
test to start protecting your rights and the rights of your child to have
his own father.
Some states have Putative Father Registries, however, laws
vary from state to state. To avoid the possiblity that a father might take
responsibility for his own child, agencies sometimes transport mothers to
another state to give birth or put a notice in a newspaper that is nowhere
near a father's home town. So take the time to learn how to protect your
rights and in addition, learn how you can nurture your
child. To show your interest and intentions in advance you may be
required by law to provide in some way for your child - by supporting your
child's mother or buying a carseat, a stroller and some other baby items.
And look up the laws for your state regarding paternity and putative
father registry.
Be sure to read the following article on father's
rights:
When people are faced with an unplanned pregnancy (crisis
pregnancy) they may begin to consider adoption. If you go to an adoption
professional they will direct your decision all the while making you think
you are the one exercising your own choice. "Be courageous" they say, fill
out this pre-birth agreement. Then, with too little information about the
long-term effects on your child and on you, they may get you to "make an
adoption plan". Soon you find yourself feeling beholden to the prospective
adopters who are strangers to your child. It is better not to plan on
adoption and not to choose prospective adopters before your child is even
born. Just say "no" - and repeat "no" if they try to change your mind.
You are your baby's mother and you have a right to raise
your own child. When your child is born you have all the rights and
responsibilities of a parent. Take lots of time to hold your baby, talk to
her and get to know her. Nurse her. It's not only your right to spend
these moments together, but she needs you as much as you need
her.
Unplanned pergnancy? Pregnant? Use the time before your
baby is born to plan on keeping her. Find ways to make it work. You don't
owe your child to anyone.
Unplanned Pregnancy - Thanks for helping us keep our
baby.
Thanks to "A Mother's Song" and other pro-family organizations many
pregnant moms and their babies have been saved from unnecessary adoption
separation.
"Spent Saturday shopping for a stroller and car seat for my pregnant
daughter's baby. Brings back memories alright. My daughter is a lot more
relaxed and has become excited since she has decided to keep her baby.
She calls me all the time and our relationship has improved a lot." - A
happy Grandmother-to-be.
Jokes -
Pregnancy Joke
If Men Got Pregnant
Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay. There
would be a cure for stretch marks.
Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.
All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.
Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.
Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
They wouldn't think twins were so cute.
Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.
Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.
Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.
They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.
Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's.
Women would rule the world.
Unplanned pregnancy is nearly always an anxious time but
unplanned pregnancy need not be a crisis. However it is in
the best interest of adoption agencies and adoption attorneys to turn an
unplanned pregnancy into a crisis - that makes it easier for
them to get a baby for their customers.
"Open adoption" is also used to get more babies for adoption. Read why
open
adoption is not a good option.
Note: The terms "birthmom" and "birthmother are used here for
search engine placement ONLY. No mother is an incubator or "birth thing" -
she is a mother.
