One might ask me what I have against adoption, adoptive parents and Child Protective Services? Please sit back and within this article I will explain that I am both Natural mother and a throw away adult adoptee.

Neither an abortion which destroys life at the time of conception or an adoption that creates a family by a judicial act within a family court is a viable solution.

The only difference between abortion and adoption is the following. 1- destroys life before it gets a chance to begin and the other allows the child to be born but than erases the natural identity and heritage of the child and destroys the Natural mother and child bond .

The Natural family is best for any child or children. This means that the child or children as the case may be, remain within the family.

The Natural family consists of the "Natural" mother not "birthmother". That implies we are only "breeders". I resent this very highly. If the "Natural" father fits into the picture, than we do have a two-parent family like most "adoption" agencies say is best for the child.

However, as the case may be, most natural fathers deny the fact they are even their natural child's father. Such "MEN" are cowards and not "men" but "little" boys locked inside a "man's" body.

A mature man, will owe up to the fact that he is the "natural" father of the child and do the right and honourable thing by being a part of his "natural" child's life.

The Fatherhood Initative is an effect advocating this too all fathers. Be them- "natural" or "legal".

"Real" men support their children and play an active role in their children's lives. They support their children, financially, emotionally, and love their children.

One thing, most "little" boys will run away from his responsibility and leave the "natural" mother to take care of the "natural" child. This subjects the "natural" mother and her child to fall into the hands of one of two Child Protective Agencies.

Child Protective Services
Adoption Services

One thing, both work in conjunction with each other. Their main objective is to destroy the natural family which is created by God and Nature (not by the adoption industry and state adoption laws).

I am a thrown away adoptee adult. I was discarded like an old worn out shoe when I could not live up to my "adoptive" parents high expectations they had hoped and expected of me.

My adoptive parents did not expect to be confronted with my many psychiatric and mental health problems either as I grew up.

None of their "natural" offspring, i,e, their three sons and two daughters, ever knew I was adopted. This is because they were all young when I was legally adopted into their family.

Possibly, the only one of their "natural" children. My oldest brother, Larry, as we called, knew of their dark and dirty little secret.

The other children, Stan, born in 1949, Lawreen in 1952, Anna born in 1956, and Cameron in 1965, were all two young to know the difference.

Neither Anna or Cameron were born at the time of my adoption. Anna was born 15 months after my adoption and Cameron was born 10 years after my adoption.

Stan was only five years old at the time of my adoption and Lawreen was only two and half years old at the time of my adoption.

I was adopted as an infant and renamed "Lucie Annalen Wesson". My adoptive parents spell my name with a "Y" at the end of Lucie meaning "Lucy". However, I for legal reasons, I changed the spelling to the French spelling with an ie at the end.

Only my closest friends, know me by my "birth"name "Karissa Elizabeth Ann Lowell."

The "Elizabeth Ann" is my confirmation name.

All through my life I wondered why I was the only left-handed child in the family beseiged with learning disabilties and psychiatric problems.

I wondered why I was treated so differently and at the age of 18 why my father, ( it was in 1976 I found out I was adopted) was so willing to pay my first ex husband and my marriage licenses.

I remember that day in July of 1973, when my first ex, Harold Covington and I walked into my "adoptive" parents apartment in Alexandria, Virginia, and Harold announced this

"I am taking your daughter off your hands. I am marrying her".

My "adoptive" father gave him this cold-hearted response

"Good, Good, I will even pay for your marriage licenses

My first ex was very insulted and his immediate response was this

"I don't need you to pay for our marriage licenses. I am quite capable of paying for it myself. Thank you. Sir!

The conversation ended and Harold took me by my hand and we walked out of my adoptive parents apartment. Harold was still mad at them and insulted as well.

It amazes me though, after Harold and I divorced and when Harold and I have our son, Georgie, in March of 1975, and after our son died in July of 1975, at the tender age of three and a half months old of a viral infection.
That they would bring up that they never received a picture of my son, Georgie. They would hurt and insulted.

I informed them none of our pictures came out,and no one got a picture of our late son. It was simple as that.

Now when I come to think about, Georgie may have died of what the "WHO" have named a this viral infection "SARS". But just like HIV and AIDS had no name until the late twentieth Century.

After Harold and I separated in 1975, shortly after our son's death and not until November of 1976, did I know I was adopted.

My adoptive mother, had been diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas in May of 1976, but she had been told it was all in her head and she needed a psychiatrist. She noticed that she had a lump under her arm pit and went to see her doctor and that only after she was unable to hold solid food down after accompanying my adoptive father to Bryn Mawr, Pa for by pass surgery.

My adoptive mother was allergic to milk. So therefore, she could not tolerate cows milk, but she could drink goats milk because the ammino acids in the goats milk was different.

She went to a local health food store that sold powdered goats milk and then started to drink that. It was about the only thing she could hold down.

The cold, cruel, facts about cancer of the pancreas is that there is no surivival rate to this particular type of cancer that attacks the pancreas in the body.

It was shortly after I started my job as a governess working for Toni Sidley in McLean, Virginia, in the autumn of 1976 and right after Labour Day of that year, that my adoptive mother went in for exploratory surgery.

A few hours later my adoptive sister, Anna, called me at Toni's house and told me that our mother had the diagnosis of cancer of the pancreas and the outcome was terminal.

I never believed anything until the actual surgeon told me that this was indeed what our mother was diagnosed with. So the next day, I called her surgeon and he returned my call and said,

Yes, Mrs. Covington, this is Doctor Malhauser, your mother, Mrs. Wesson, does indeed have terminal cancer of the pancreas. I have no idea how long she can and will live. We have gone over with her all the options for treatment and we are going to try chemotherapy on her to prolong her life"

Like the well-mannered young woman I was raised, I thanked him for his time and our telephone conversation ended.

That was September 6, 1976 and by October 2, 1976, she was dead and the cancer killed her.

A month later, none of my sisters or brother, (as Larry died in 1967 and Cameron was only 11 years old at the time of my mother's death) were willing to do the tedious task of going through her papers and so forth.

My adoptive father fell victim to alcoholism shortly after my adoptive mother's death. He was totally unable to accomplish the task of going through the paper work she left behind.

I, undertook the task to go through all the paper work and as I went through sorting out what needed to be thrown out and what needed to be kept, I came across a plain manila envelope with the words written cross the front of the envelope "Lucie's Birth Certificate- Confidential".

Well, I had a copy of my "birth-certificate" and now why would she have to have a copy because she gave it to me.

As I opened it, I found another birth certificate with a completely different name written on it. The name I was given to me by my "natural"mother. The name of Karissa Anne Lowell, born on June 14, 1955 at Suburban Hospital in Bethesda, Montgomery County, Maryland at 12:01 AM.

The scribling across the signature Elizabeth Caren Lowell.

My "natural" mother was a British citizen and I understood that my "natural" father was an American Citizen, and they had decided to have me born in the United States therefore making me an American citizen.

Shortly after my birth, my "natural"mother left the United States and returned home to England and I never found out who my "natural" father was.

What I did find out, is that in one way or the other, I was adopted by a member of the family on his side. But I was never to find out his name.

With the help of a former beau, Rudy Richards and a cousin and best friend, Linda Flemming. They drove me to Baltimore, Maryland, where the State Department of Vital Statistics is located.

Rudy, Linda, and I walked up to the counter and we asked if we might talk to someone about a birth certificate I found and the one I already have in my possession.

A stern, elderly man looked up and asked if he could help us and Rudy said,

Yes, my girlfriend here as two different birth certificates and can you please tell us what the difference is between the two of them

The gentleman held out his hand and Rudy placed both documents in his hands. He opened them up and had a very surprised look on his face and he then said,

I went about explaining that the woman who I thought was my mother all these years before she died, was my mother, was not. I came across my original birth certificate because she had passed away and none of my other sisters and brother wanted to go through her papers she left behind.

Rudy tried to get more information on my background, but we were told it was a "closed " adoption and the records were "sealed".

We left the State Dept. of Vital Statistics feeling very empty and we had questions that needed to be answered but knew we would get the answers we sought.

While growing up I was constantly compared with either Lawreen who was two and a half years older than myself or with Anna, who was fifteen months younger than I am.

I was asked, Why I could not be like either Lawreen or Anna? and according to my "adoptive" parents eyes, they could do no wrong. They had no mental health problems, learning disabilities, or psychiatric problems.
They were almost "perfect" in my adoptive parents eyes but not quite.

The same thing went on with my oldest brother, -their eldest son- Larry, who could not live up to what they had expected of him. They succeeded to destroy his life and the end kill any chance of happiness he may have had.

Larry's life ended in an auto accident at the age of twenty-two and a half in August of 1967, one day before my little brother, Cameron, turned two years old.

My "adoptive" parents mangaged to destroy most of their children's happiness with their unreasonable expectations they had on all of their children including myself.

It was only years later, much later, in the late eighties, that a woman psychologist told me for my own good and the sake of my own mental well-being that I must "divorce" my family and in particular my "adoptive" father if I were to achieve any kind of happiness in part.

This only came after my second marriage came to an end due to Fairfax County Department of Child Protective Services interferring with the raising of my second child, our daughter, Rebecca Annalen, who I had out of wedlock and according to my family I did the "unforgivable sin" by getting pregnant without the benefit of marriage.

My second ex, Roy L. Mock, never denied once he was not the "natural" father of our daughter, Rebecca. Infact, to this day, he admits openly he is and never will deny it.

Rebecca was born in December of 1978 and in June of 1981, Roy and I were married.

Rebecca was two and a half years old when Roy and I were married in June of 1981 and present at our wedding dressed brillantly in long, pink, chiffon dress and flowers cladded in her blonde hair.

It all came about simply because Fairfax County had found out via Alabama CPS I had mental health problems and Roy had a slight drinking problem.

This gave CPS in Fairfax County Virginia the right to come in dictate to Roy and I what we had to do if we were to keep Rebecca in our care, custody, and control.

Roy drank yes, but it was not a problem whereas it was turning into alcoholism. It did not interfere with his ability to work or cause any serious health problems.

Fairfax County continually used my mental health as an excuse to dictate to Roy and me or they would take us to court and have the juevnile judge ask CPS via the state attorney to grant them a "Pick Up Order" to remove Rebecca from our custody, care, and control, thus placing her into a foster home.

Now regardless of what the child specialist had stated in extensive child development reports on Rebecca which were given to her at the Children's Hospital in Birmingham, Alabama.

That the child developmental specialists recommended that in no circmustances should Rebecca ever be placed up for adoption and removed from her "natural" family. They stated that if this happened it most likely that Rebecca would never be accepted or able to live up to what her adoptive parents would expect of her.

Their prediction came true . Years later, many years, as Rebecca was placed up for adoption after CPS managed to have Roy and My parental rights terminated with the help of my adoptive family, in November of 83.

It was shortly after Rebecca turned 21 years old. She was placed in a live on campus program for learning disabled students by her adoptive parents that she called after she first called me in September of 1999, and she was crying and I had to calm her down and then I asked her ,

"Rebecca, what is a matter?

Rebecca asked me this "

If you had kept me would I have been a burden to you?"

I asked her what bought this on, and she began to tell me that her adoptive parents, her case workers, psychologist, pyschiatrist, and she all had a staffing and her adoptive parents in particular her adoptive mother, Colleen Holden had said, "they known Rebecca was going to have so many mental health problems and special needs, they would have never adopted her in the first place. They did not feel as if they were her parents anymore."

Rebecca's psychiatrist and psychologist said that was not so. "That once a parent always a parent."

Colleen Holden said, "that is not the way they feel."

One of Rebecca's case managers let Rebecca know how she felt and told Rebecca that her adoptive mother was a "bitch".

Rebecca was very hurt as she loved her adoptive parents and appreciated what they had done for her, but she did not appreciate how they tried to poison her against her dad and me.

They even took her to a child psychologist and the child psychologist tried to poison her mind against us by telling her nothing but the one side that CPS gave to her adoptive parents in reports citing we her dad and me abused and nelgected her, when none that ever came up in the court hearing.

It was a year later when Frank and I took a greyhound bus to Des. Moines, Iowa and I was reunited after 16 long years with Rebecca.

Rebecca was placed in her adoptive home at the age of five years old, and even at that time she knew who her mother and father was. She constantly asked where her mother was and her adoptive parents tried to reprogram her thinking whereas they were her parents and not Roy and me.

Rebecca would not bond with Colleen Holden but she was comfortable with Howard Holden, in due to this she was misdiagnosed with "autism" amongst other things.

Rebecca bonded with her dad and me, and had no trouble with any of her cousins, only she knew the truth about who and who was not her family.

One of the Holden's natural sons, was able to accept her and one was not.
Both sons were nearly grown. One was entering into college when they adopted Rebecca and the other had only two years to go before he finished high school.

Oddly enough, the two natural sons wanted to meet me and so did the rest of Rebecca's adoptive family, but the adoptive mother hated me and saw me as a threat to her security.

I tried with Rebecca, however, things did not work out between and with us. Rebecca was over protected and over sheltered and the Holdens used her mental health to seige her legal guardianship and convince a judge in Polk County, Iowa to give them her legal guardianship.

This in effect said, she was not an enmanicipated adult and could sign no legal documents.

This gave the Holdens the legal right to place Rebecca even in a group home with the sign of a pen.

The Holdens decided to shirk their responsibility and pass the buck on to an agency for the disabled in particular ones with mental disabilities to teach Rebecca all the much needed psyco-social skills as well as independent living skills.

Before she entered college, they managed to get her on social security supplementary income rather than see she get the job skills training she need to live independently and financially on her own.

It was not enough for the Holdens that the State of Iowa Vocational Services pay for the first year of the Vocational Program Rebecca attended at Ellsworth College, as post secondary follow up care that she was receiving in high school because she qualified for it.

However, if Rebecca were to continue at Ellsworth for a second year. She did not qualify for the State of Iowa to pay for the second year of the program because Iowa only picked up one year of after care for Rebecca.

Howard Holden made well over the amount that federal government established for students to receive vocational services paid in full by their perspective state vocational services which is $29,999 a year.

The Holdens were responsible for Rebecca's second year expenses and Rebecca paid for her dormitory fees.

This angered the Holdens that the state of Iowa would not pick up any of her second year program fees. It put them in the hole of about $10,000 in expenses and they resented it.

The truth is that the Holdens were screaming "wrongful" adoption and with this implies, that the adoption agency -be it private or state-ran- withheld certain pertient information on Rebecca's "natural"family background and health.

Alabama did not share with Virginia any of the medical evaluations that the child developmental specialist had ran on Rebecca, and if they had Rebecca would have been left in our care, custody, and control, and Roy and I would have may be given the supportive services to keep our family intact.

Some states have inter-state compact agreements between them and others do not. Alabama and Virginia did not have such an agreement. So therefore, no information was exchanged between Alabama and Virginia.

However, my private attorney in Chicago, Illinois, had received all these reports and shared them not only with me but with IL Children and Family Services.

In fact, it was Dr. Churchhill, that sent the medical reports to my attorney, Theodore Birndorf in July of 80 and helped me get Rebecca out of Alabama and into Illinois with the help of IL Dept. of Children and Family Services.

What child protective services, foster care and adoption is all about? One thing and one thing only, don't be deceived, and don't think it won't and couldn't happen to you. What you don't know will hurt you, and what you do know will help you.

All three are about MONEY!
The federal government gives each state so much money for every child they remove from the loving care of the natural parents care, custody, and control.

The state pays every foster parents about the amount of roughly $700.00 a month per child that is placed within that foster home.

In return the federal government gives each state between the amount of $5,000 to $12,000 a child, if the state succeeds to keep the child within the system for more than fifteen months and then by federal law the state has the right to go on a head and start the process of terminating the "natural " parents rights to the child . This makes the child eligible for adoption and for the adoptive parents to receive adoption assistant payments for a five year period.

The amount varies from state, but the Holdens received for the first five years of Rebecca's adoption the amount of $750.00 a month. None was put aside for Rebecca, as prescribed by law.

FTR The Holdens were considered very wealthy people. They had the means and ways to support Rebecca. Rebecca was nothing more than income for them.

See this url for the reason:

http://www.exiledmothers.com/truth_about_adoption/industry.html

Read the entire site along with the other sites I cite in this article.

http://cpswatch.com and http://profanejustice.org.

The sites will not lie to you, nor will the countless of other parents who have fallen victim into the hands of Child Protective Service Sharks.